Helping Kids cope with Anger

Here is the next colouring page in my Choices Posters series. Download here.
Choices-Angry-lowres

In my experience, some children thrive on routine, others don’t. In my family I have two of each – me being one of the ones who dislikes routine but actually would do a whole lot better if I stuck diligently to one !

I find that when adjusting to change my little pumpkins tend to be a little on the angry side. Even over things they normally couldn’t care less about, and so I’ve just introduced this poster to see how they go with it. We are reshaping our routine to adapt to everyone’s current stage of life and its progressing so I hope to report back on this in the next few months. I have found that the ‘Sad’ Choices poster was helpful. It seemed (through my adult eyes only and not specifically through the words of my child) that she almost saw the options shown as me giving her permission to deal with her sadness in any of those ways. For me this is a little bit of a win 🙂 I just hope we all can continue to use these choices. Adults included 🙂

Next in line for posters are Worry/Overwhelm, Happy, and Scared/Frightened. 

A few pointers I’ve seen, read and heard over the years when helping kids with emotion that I think actually do help;

1. Stay Calm – you are the adult. You are able to regulate your emotions. They are learning how to behave from you. Take a big breath first and think about your response before you react with your banshee voice.

2. Validate & name their feeling – Kids get scared and angry when they are overwhelmed and don’t know why. Heck it still happens to me! “Yes I can see you’re frustrated/tired, let’s take a break and I’ll read you a story.”

3. Remember it is just a moment, the child is not ‘bad’. This is a huge one for me. My biggest and best affirmation so far in my parenting career is this: “Choose Each Moment”. Moments pass, and overwhelm/tantrums can pass in a moment, too, if you respond to them in the best way you can, by choosing your own actions and behavior, from moment to moment. This carries over to every part of your life if you can let it, too.

4. Be present & patient. The hardest one for me I think. Especially when I have other things to do; get them into the car, to an appointment, through an appointment, cook dinner, exercise, etc etc etc. A little bit of patience goes a long way. Remember that.

Good luck with those big emotions! Let me know how it goes!

Xx

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